To My Valentine
More than a catirtd hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the united States,
Thats's how much I love you.
I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.
As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That's how much you I love.
I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.
I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths,
That's how you're loved by me.
Ogden Nash
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Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St.
Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its
patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we
know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become
associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or
Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided
that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of
potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for
young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where
they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that
Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement.
Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in
use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic,
heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular
saints in England and France.
Saint Valentine's Day or Valentine's Day falls on February 14. It is the traditional day on which lovers express
their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, often anonymously. The holiday is named after two men, both Christian
martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love
flourished.
The day was most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of "valentines". Modern Valentine
symbols include the heart-shaped outline and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten notes have
largely given way to mass-produced greeting cards. The Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion
valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The
association estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.
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Sex Tips
Hers - The Kiss Torture Starting from the top working your way down, kiss his ears, lips and neck, nibble the nipples, tongue
the navel, bypass his bits and head south to the toes. Now work your way back up until you reach the crotch. STOP RIGHT THERE! Feeling nothing
but your warm breath, his resistance will be broken.
His - Chilly Willy Ready for a bit of gorgeous torture? With copious quantities of ice, she must freeze your genitals for the
count of ten. That's the hell bit. Then she must coax them back to life using her hot lips and tongue. That's the heaven bit. Warming to the
idea?
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